Love, Loss, and the Sacred In-Between: This Is My Why
I am a mom. I am a widow. I am a vessel for stories — and this is mine.
In April 2022, my daughter met the man of her dreams.
My partner and I were elated — it felt almost too good to be true.
His moms shared a story nearly identical to hers: one had been previously married (just like me), then met her best friend (just like me), who later became her wife. And the cherry on top? My daughter and her partner met doing community musical theater — the very same way Clara and I had met years ago.
It felt as if the universe had conspired to bring her someone who truly saw her. Three years later, she married him. But my partner wasn’t there to see her walk down the aisle. Just a year after they met, my beloved Clara — my partner of 18 years — passed away suddenly. We had raised two beautiful children together, built a life of deep love, and weathered the complexities of not being legally married — it made more financial sense to remain unmarried while supporting two kids through college. “It’s just a piece of paper,” we used to say. But we had made a quiet, sacred agreement: we’d finally make it official on our 20th anniversary.
We didn’t make it to twenty years. Instead, that milestone became the year of my daughter’s wedding. So, how does one hold the vastness of joy and the devastation of loss — in the same moment?
The two years between Clara’s passing and my daughter’s wedding were the most painful and profound of my life. I learned to exist in a world without her laughter, without her presence beside me. I learned to let life move forward while carrying the echo of someone I love deeply, eternally. And through that process — through the support of the glorious souls who held me up — I discovered something miraculous. I discovered that joy and grief can live side by side. That love doesn’t end when breath does. Those stories — our stories — are ceremonies.
Now, I offer myself as a guide for others in those liminal spaces. For those who are beginning again, building sacred commitments, celebrating enduring love in all its forms. Whether you are marrying, honoring, remembering, or beginning again, you are welcome here. Welcome home.
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